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I have been friends with a woman, a person who's faced and conquered many challenges, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's repeatedly blindsided by people. Her spouse walked away, and it was a huge shock. Many of her social circle drifted away during that time, because they seemed only interested in her husband. She was stunned by her. She made more effort in our friendship, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

A Recurring Theme With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, many of her friends have disappeared and she isn't knowing the cause. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she was highly competent, her exit happened without knowing what had changed.

Current Dynamics

Lately, we've both retired leading to more frequent meetups, however, I feel the part I play in the relationship is as the audience. I start topics of conversation and she changes them to her own topics. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. My effort is to recommend factchecking or other angles.

She has been planning a holiday to a nation I have traveled to on several occasions and lived in for a while. I attempted to offer advice, yet it was not welcomed. She really just desired my agreement with her plans. I recently returned from a month in that country and she wants to reconnect, but I don't.

Considering the Choices

I hesitate to act as a friend who cuts and runs without a word, but I don't think she will ever comprehend the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, I am in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

One option is to cut and run, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution we hope for. Yet having a direct talk with a view to resolution requires bravery and readiness for each of you.

Therapists recommend trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one requires explaining what typically happens during your discussions. Aim for this to be objective and clear and basically an unbiased account. The second is to express the way it leaves you feeling. There should be no disagreement on this point. Emotions are your feelings, naturally. Step three is to ask how the two of you going to change the pattern between you."

Keep in mind that she also holds perspectives, thus requiring you to be prepared to listen to her. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Now you talk while I will not say anything for a set time."

It's wildly impactful to encourage mutual respect.

Closing Considerations

This person could ignore your concerns, since certain individuals cling to a deep-seated story: they rely on a version about themselves they won't abandon because their very survival relies on it and it represents they've known. This poses a challenge as there is no clear path in such cases, just dead ends. But she may initially present like this then consider on your words. And even if you don't achieve a resolution, it will give you peace that you've been open and direct.